Adjectives
by phoenix1800
Summary: A Reicentered songfic. His thoughts about leaving the White Tigers. Also some ReiKai, but nothing explicit.


I don't own Beyblade or any of the characters, and you won't get more than a few wrappers and some change if you sue me.

Just Rei's thoughts about his leaving the White Tigers. Slight Rei/Kai…I always have to fit it in somewhere.

I don't own the song "Numb" either, Linkin Park does. 

Numb 

**I'm tired of being what you want me to be**

**Feeling so faithless **

**Lost under the surface**

**I don't know what you're expecting of me**

**Put under the pressure **

**Of walking in your shoes**

**(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)**

**Every step that I take is another mistake to you**

**(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)**

It's all about adjectives.

Friend, mentor, crush, perfect, decisive, leader. 

Those were the terms the White Tigers would associate with me, or at least they would have two years ago. 

They were missing several important things, like unsure, naïve, unaware, insecure…I could go on, but I won't. They never realized how imperfect I truly was, because I couldn't show them. If I had, it would've destroyed their perceptions of me completely. 

**I've become so numb**

**I can't feel you there**

**I've become so tired**

**So much more aware**

**I'm becoming this**

**All I want to do**

**Is be more like me**

**And be less like you**

Then again, Li was never under that impression. He thought I was weak and undeserving, and perhaps I was at that point. He would find a way to criticize everything I did, and as odd as it sounds, I'm grateful. He made me an insecure basket case, and I don't think anyone's ever done something that pivotal for me.

Since I was insecure, I didn't think I was a good blader. So I kept training, day after day, night after night. And I kept studying bit beasts too, learning everything I could. 

Eventually I thought I was ready to experience life for myself. I was tired of following Li's advice. I mean, I was older than him, for crying out loud. I needed to do things for myself. I needed to define myself in my own terms, not theirs.

**Can't you see that you're smothering me**

**Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control**

**'Cause everything you thought I would be**

**Has fallen apart right in front of you**

I actually asked them what they thought of me going out into the world once. Li was scornful, Kevin indifferent, Gary emotional, and Mariah…god. I learned never to talk about that in front of her again. She started bawling and clinging to me.

A lot of people assume we're together, Mariah and I. Could they be any further from the truth? No offense to Mariah, she's cool, but she's not my type. She needs attention that I can't give her—well, that I'm not willing to give her. That, and I'm currently claimed by a slate-haired, crimson-eyed phoenix, or at least that's what he tells me. He's kinda possessive like that.

I learned that leaving wasn't going to be highly accepted by any of them, and that I would have little chance of being accepted back into the fold after I left. 

And I didn't care.

**(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)**

**Every step that I take is another mistake to you**

**(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)**

**And every second I waste is more than I can take**

I needed to get out by then. I craved knowledge and freedom, as well as new experiences. The village was old-fashioned and sheltered. You were expected to grow up, get married to a nice girl in town, and settle down with a child or two or five. 

I didn't want that. I wanted adventure and excitement. I wanted thrills and new sights and sounds and smells and tastes. I also; obviously, didn't want to marry a girl, as you can see by my choice in a partner. But hey, on my list Kai is hotter than any girl, any day. Any guy, too, actually.

By the time I plotted to leave the village, I wasn't planning on having Drigger with me. But the elders surprised me by giving the white tiger to me, instead of Li like we had both thought.

This only increased his jealousy of me…as to why he was jealous, I had no clue. I wasn't, and still am not, anything special. But hey, people are strange.   

But receiving Drigger almost made me stay in the village. I didn't want to look like a traitor by taking the village bit and leaving. But something made me go…it was a feeling from Drigger, like he was restless too, and wanted to find the same things I did. So I left. 

I've become so numb 

**I can't feel you there**

**I've become so tired**

**So much more aware**

**I'm becoming this**

**All I want to do**

**Is be more like me**

**And be less like you**

It wasn't easy at all, not at first. I was living on the streets, essentially. My money soon ran out and it was then that I discovered the wonders of being a waiter. The tips were good, hours manageable, and it kept me in a crap apartment for awhile. I've neglected to tell the other Breakers this because I don't think they need to be exposed to this. Kenny, Max, and Tyson are way too innocent for their own good, and I don't want to shock them with some of my horror stories. As for Kai? He already knows; he's been reading this over my shoulder. And yes, love, you are possessive, and you are most certainly hot.  I was a master at street blading. That's my specialty, where I'm most comfortable. Well, that and the forest. The neighborhood kids who had once mocked me for being poor were now handing me a steady supply of parts—my wager when I won. So I kept upgrading Drigger. 

I heard bits of new from the village. Apparently they were all caught between worried and furious. I had explained my reasons for leaving to the elders, but not to the White Tigers. It was understandable that they were angry.

**And I know**

**I may end up failing too**

**But I know**

**You were just like me, with someone disappointed in you**

I was pleasantly surprised when Mr. Dickinson found me about a year and a half ago. He had been observing me for awhile and wanted me to compete in the Japanese districts as a special guest, and maybe join a team he was putting together for the World Championships. 

Yeah, beat that, Li. My insecurity ebbed away, and I felt like I **mattered**. Like I had redeemed myself for being a failure. 

Kai, it doesn't matter whether I was a failure or not, I felt like one. Yes, I know you would love to pummel Li, but we're **friends** now, remember? Thank you. Continuing now.

  
  


I slipped on an arrogant mask and entered. Kai, you aren't the only one who can do that. But anyways, I met the other Breakers, and excluding my boyfriend, took a liking to them and became their friend.

Blading was different for them. It wasn't a way of life, and it didn't dominate their every thought. I found I liked the sport better that way. 

I've become so numb 

**I can't feel you there**

**I've become so tired**

**So much more aware**

**I'm becoming this**

**All I want to do**

**Is be more like me**

And be less like you And then, of course, came the Asian tournament. I don't think I need to elaborate on that. I proved my worth as a blader…fine Kai, a 'kick-ass' blader…thanks…and made Li respect me. 

…No Kai, you can't call him a fluffball. Excuse me while I go chase my boyfriend out of the room.

………….

Thanks. Anyways, I beat Li fair and square, and he learned my real reasons for leaving. I was friends with everyone again, and I had gotten the best of both worlds. I lived up to my own expectations. 

**I've become so numb**

**I can't feel you there**

**(Tired of being what you want me to be)**

**I've become so numb**

**I can't feel you there**

**(Tired of being what you want me to be)**

So where was I at the beginning of this? Oh right, Adjectives. Hmm…what would describe me now? I would say confident, secure, loved, loving…and most importantly, happy. I could never say that with complete sureness before. 

Argh…how did you get back in here? Yes, Kai, you are a part of that happiness. A very large part, actually. And no, you can't brag to Mariah about **anything**, okay? I want to break this relationship to her gently, and that means you can't drag me in front of her and kiss me.

Actually, right now I wouldn't mind the kissing thing. Later, all.

So what do you think? Am I getting any better with these songfics? Let me know, please review! Buh-bye!


End file.
